One day Buck Fuckertwerk, the most famous feces cook, was accused by some crazy descendant of immigrants to deliberately spread fake feces all over the place. „I never would do so!“, he replied. „Who am I to decide which feces are fake? You should ask yourself why do you want me to have so much power?“, he added with tears in his eyes. „I don’t want to become the gatekeeper of real feces!“ So everybody kept silent in shame.